How to Increase Intimacy in a Relationship—Starting Tonight

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How to Increase Emotional Intimacy in a Relationship

Falling in love is the easiest part of your filmy love story; whether you fell in love at first sight or first fight, it is full of butterflies.  But building emotional intimacy? That’s where the real struggle begins.

If you are in a relationship, whether in the talking phase or have started to be a little cozy, you may have wondered, “How to increase intimacy in relationship?”.

That is why we are here to help you understand how to increase intimacy in a relationship. To increase intimacy in a relationship, spend quality time together, talk openly, and show care every day. Simple actions like listening, hugging, and appreciating your partner can make your bond stronger and your love deeper.

Read this article to find out how you can actually build emotional intimacy starting tonight, without drama, awkwardness, or overthinking.

What Exactly Is Emotional Intimacy?

Before going further with this blog, let me tell you what emotional intimacy is? And what should we really do to build it? It’s not just about saying “I love you” or sharing your childhood traumas on day one. Emotional intimacy is that deep, unshakable sense that you’re safe with this person, to be seen, heard, and accepted without judgment.

In India, where many of us grow up learning to suppress emotions or keep “personal matters” private, opening up can be uncomfortable. But the couples that last? They’re the ones who lean into discomfort and keep showing up, emotionally.

Tips To Increase Emotional Intimacy in a Relationship

Let’s come to the main point for which this blog has been written. “How to increase emotional intimacy?”. So, if you are really concerned about the emotional intimacy of your relationship, then these tips can help you turn the tables:

1. Start With the Small Stuff—It Builds Trust Fast

You don’t need deep conversations every night. In fact, emotional intimacy begins with the everyday check-ins.

Instead of just asking “Khaana khaya?” or “How was work?”, try:

  • “What was the best part of your day?”
  • “What stressed you out today?”
  • “Is there something you’ve been wanting to talk about but didn’t get the chance?”

These small questions signal: I care about your world. And in relationships, especially new ones, this emotional attentiveness sets a strong foundation.

Try Tonight: Skip the generic chats. Ask your partner something personal, even if it’s as simple as “What made you smile today?”

2. Put Your Phones Down—Literally

We get it. Instagram reels are addictive, and replying to office emails at 10 PM has become the norm. But if you’re constantly glued to a screen, your partner starts to feel like background noise.

To truly increase intimacy time, create tech-free moments. It doesn’t have to be a whole weekend getaway. Even 20 minutes of undistracted presence can work magic.

  • No phones during dinner
  • A 10-minute evening walk together
  • Just lying down and talking, without background noise

In a fast-paced world, attention is the biggest intimacy gift.

3. Speak Their Emotional Language

In Indian relationships, especially in newer couples, we often default to saying “I care” through actions, sending food, checking in, and helping out. But every person receives love differently.

Some prefer words. Others need physical touch. Some feel loved through shared time.

Try figuring out:

  • Does your partner light up when you compliment them?
  • Do they love being hugged?
  • Do they melt when you remember small details?

Once you know their “emotional language,” express love in ways that land.

Hint: Ask directly, “What makes you feel most loved by me?”

4. Tell Them Something You’ve Never Said Before

Want a shortcut to deeper emotional intimacy? Be vulnerable.

We’re not saying you need to pour your heart out in a dramatic Bollywood-style confession. But being a little bit vocal about your feelings will not harm you.

You could say:

  • “Sometimes I’m scared of not being good enough for you.”
  • “I’ve never told anyone this, but I want to…”
  • “I’ve always felt nervous about relationships because…”

This kind of emotional honesty helps your partner do the same. It turns your connection into something beyond surface-level chemistry.

Important: Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the glue of real emotional connection.

5. Use Physical Intimacy As Emotional Expression

Especially in Indian couples, there’s often a divide: physical closeness vs emotional bonding. But the truth is, the two are deeply linked.

A warm hug after a long day, holding hands while watching a show, or simply lying next to each other without words, these small acts release oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

If you’re wondering how to increase intimacy in a relationship naturally, don’t treat physical touch like a “reward”; make it a daily part of how you emotionally connect.

Read More: Are You Emotionally Safe With Your Partner

6. Create “Your Thing” As a Couple

Shared rituals build intimacy. Period.

Maybe it’s chai time at 8 PM. Or cooking together every Sunday. Or even sending voice notes in the morning.

These sweet little things will help you build a close connection with your partner and will make your relationship stronger.

In Indian households, where routines revolve around family or work, having your own couple space becomes even more important.

Try This Tonight: Pick one ritual you’ll start from today. Stick with it. Watch your bond deepen.

7. Talk About the Future, Even If It’s Just Next Weekend

We’re not saying you need to plan your shaadi by the second month. But sharing about your future plans will help shape your future and will make your bond healthier.

Say things like:

  • “Wouldn’t it be fun to take a short trip together next month?”
  • “What do you think life will look like a year from now?”
  • “If we ever lived together, what would our mornings be like?”

These soft future projections increase emotional intimacy by building a shared mental world, something that lasts longer than just present-day chemistry.

8. Listen Deeply, Not Just to Reply

This one’s underrated. We always want our partner to listen to us, but do we actually listen to them? Think about it, sometimes even small conversations can lead to big changes.

Let them finish. Reflect on what you heard. Say things like:

  • “That sounds like it really affected you.”
  • “Thanks for telling me that.”
  • “I had no idea you felt this way.”

Being heard without being corrected is one of the most intimate feelings in the world.

9. Respect Their Boundaries (and Share Yours Too)

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to blur lines, too much texting, constant need for validation, or over-explaining every emotion.

Healthy emotional intimacy needs boundaries. And respecting your partner’s personal space, need for silence, or emotional processing time is powerful.

Similarly, if you need some space or clarity, communicate it gently:

  • “I love being with you, but I need a little time to recharge today.”
  • “Can we talk about this tomorrow when I can give you my full attention?”

Emotional safety increases when both people know they won’t be judged for setting boundaries.

10. Celebrate Emotional Wins, Not Just Big Moments

Sure, anniversaries and birthdays are great. But if you really want to know how to increase emotional intimacy in a relationship, start celebrating the small emotional wins too.

  • Your partner opened up about something vulnerable? Acknowledge it.
  • You both solved a conflict with calm communication? Celebrate it.
  • You sat quietly and comforted them during a low moment? That’s intimacy.

This kind of emotional validation encourages more closeness, more trust, and more heart-level connection.

Conclusion

Being perfect or showing the world that you are the best couple is not what emotional intimacy is. It is being comfortable with each other, showing your messiest moments to each other, or be the real you in front of your partner.
If you’re wondering how to increase intimacy in relationship, start small, stay honest, and begin tonight.
Because closeness isn’t built through grand gestures.
It grows in everyday effort, soft honesty, shared chai, and a simple “I’m here.”
Start tonight, put the phone down, look them in the eye, and ask, “How are you, really?”
That one moment could spark something beautiful.

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